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Friday the 13th

If you’ve done the math, you know that the Halloween franchise finished with an average of 39 out of 100. The sad reality is a 39 (or basically a 40) isn’t a terrible rating for the genre. However, we’re here to save horror, and to do that we need to hold it to a higher standard. Demand better. How does this relate to this review? Well, as I’m nearing the end of the Friday the 13th franchise, I feel confident that it will finish higher than Halloween. After this review though, it may not finish much higher.

When we last saw Jason Voorhees, he was banished to hell by his niece. Nine years later, New Line Cinema released Jason X, which pretends Jason Goes to Hell never happened. If only we could all do that. This film puts Jason in the future, 2455 to be exact. Having been frozen for years, Jason is resurrected aboard a space ship to be studied. While it may not be Camp Crystal Lake, he shows no trouble in adapting and unleashes his wrath on the people aboard the ship. This film is riddled with horrible acting, terrible graphics, a stupid plot and... everything else that’s annoying.

Most of the characters aboard the space ship are students. There is a money-hungry professor and a few other teachers/non-students, but not many. This collection of characters is the worst of any of the films. There is zero character development and I’m not sure the names were even mentioned for all of them. Interactions between the characters are awkward and stilted by the dialogue and poor acting. I found myself not caring if they died, but even wishing it’d happen faster.

Aside from the horrific cast, this film’s plot is terrible. Placing Jason in the future doesn’t even sound good when you say it aloud, never mind after you’ve made a film of it. On this spaceship, technology is incredibly advanced. If a person is injured, or even loses an arm, there is a very good chance it can be fixed. Part of what bugged me about the story was that most of the fear was gone because of this. If someone can easily be repaired, then where is the fear of death? Although, Jason seems to have no trouble killing nearly everyone aboard the ship, so maybe technology isn’t that good.

In addition, this film relies on digital effects for pretty much the entire thing - and it shows. The death scenes were better in the previous films where they used fake blood and prosthetics. This film was made in 2002, when graphics were decent, but the deathsequences in the movie are terrible.

The only reason this movie received a one was because of a short scene toward the end in which the characters create a virtual reality to distract Jason. Suddenly, his surroundings look like Crystal Lake, instead of the spaceship, and there are topless girls from the 80s calling out to him. This scene alone made me happy. It reminded me of why Jason is the best and why his franchise is so strong. Jason X may not show it, but he is a force to be reckoned with and topless girls everywhere should run for cover.

If you liked Jason X, you might also like Freddy vs. Jason, Friday the 13th and A Nightmare on Elm Street.

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